Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
