So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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