he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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