I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
