I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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