Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Randomize
