I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Randomize
