in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize