i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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