You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
