Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
