You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
