Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
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