It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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