THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize