my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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