so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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