Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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