wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
