saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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