need another drink. this is the easiest way
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
