real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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