i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i wish my penis had a tongue
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Found the puke drawer
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
