I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
