I'll bet she douches with gravy.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
There was a lot of him and a little penis
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize