Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
