Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
she pinky promised me she was 18
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
