bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize