I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
dude i'm inner monologue high
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
