where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
