I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
