Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
