Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
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