i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
