thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
