Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
