Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
