i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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