Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize