My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
