In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Randomize
