is wine microwaveable?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
