she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
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