Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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