Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
