He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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