Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
