Screwed.edu
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Why can't burritos get me drunk
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
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