I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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