plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
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