Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
