You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize