the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
