She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
