Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
areolas are like halos for boobs.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize