Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
