its not stalking. its research.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
