Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
