We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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