arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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