bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
