im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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